Caste away

Since we all like talking about being deep in shit, let’s take a look at the issue from arse-upwards. Let us look at it from the end point.
When our beloved government came to power along with their Communist comrades, there was a talk about introducing reservations in the private sector! How brilliant is that!
Like most of the problems dogging us, the reservation issue too is a result of someone else’s petty politics. Arjun Singh, VP Singh one and the same thing. I was skimming through another incredibly boring edition of The Week magazine and I found a useful bit of news. Apparently, the last caste based census was conducted in 1931. Since us Indians have demonstrated that it is possible to multiply like the rabbits and beat the rabbits at their own game, the data from the 1931 census is as useful as the dinosaur census.
Today, who are these backward castes? How do you identify them? The present time is handing out jobs for all regardless of social classifications. The system today is arguably quite impartial. When was the last time you had to name your caste on the CV?
There is an urgent need for the policy makers to forge their balls in steel and re-define and restate that instead of backward castes, we are better off with a Backward class reservation. Many families from the upper castes live in abject poverty. Conversely, numerous families from the lower castes have done well economically.

This is an excerpt from the Indian Constitution:

Legal identification of Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes
Selection criteria for scheduled castes
1. Cannot be served by clean Brahmans
2. Cannot be served by the barbers, water-carriers, tailors, etc. who serve the caste Hindus
3. Pollutes a high-caste Hindu by contact or by proximity
4. Is one from whose hands a caste Hindu cannot take water
5. Is debarred from using public amenities such as roads, ferries, wells, or schools
6. Will not be treated as an equal by high-caste men of the same educational qualification in ordinary social intercourse
7. Is depressed on account of the occupation followed and, but for that, occupation would be subject to no social disability
Selection criteria for scheduled tribes
1. Tribal origin
2. Primitive ways of life and habitation in remote and less accessible areas
3. General backwardness in all respects
Source: Constitution of India


Now that you have read the above, the whole issue of SC/ST OBC reservations looks like fresh horse manure. We have not changed our definitions with changing times and rocketing economy. Lets have a small section of our resources reserved for people who are lagging behind. But NOT without changing the criteria for the eligibility.

Alright alright, I’m talking through my bum. If we had a temper for change even Mandal would not have happened.

Since the last few generations, we highly privileged upper caste back benchers, have quietly accepted reservation policies and vote bank politics. By now most of us have realized that in this country where votes are catalyzed with arrack sachets, it is unfair to expect political leaders to stand up for us. Weeks have passed and no leader has spoken yet. Surprisingly, the supposed couch potato generation has found its guts. For me it was simply unbelievable to see our friends unite in different parts of the nation, making silent protests. The very manner in which the protests were done makes me proud to say that I belong to this generation. Gandhi is passé.
I cannot really speculate about the outcome of this mass movement. Maybe we will be victorious and can force a fair policy. Maybe we will all be brushed aside in the interest of national disintegration. Whatever it is, surely we must not stop now. I am not expecting a miracle to happen. Some where in the corner of my mind, I realize that a real solution to this problem can be arrived at only if the real OBC voice their opinion through real people (not some farce political party or leader). I am sure that most OBC today, are tired of being insulted with free quotas. Of course, everyone’s conscience knows that real equality is when you are neither privileged nor deprived. An OBC doesn’t really want his intelligence and ego hurt by being labelled the caste which needs a push to clear exams, get through professional courses AND a push to get a job.
This mass movement should have been by OBC and not the so called upper caste. It is the OBC who should have protested the perpetual insult programme. They should come forward and ask their guardian angels like Arjun Singh to piss off. It is only they who can put an end to this.

My two cents.....

God damn !

Am I part of the cure or am I part of the disease ? I have always blinked when choosing between them. Of course, it wasn’t until Coldplay sang Clocks that I could plagiarize the line and sound deep.
As part of our super duper gadzuper life, I have kept off infecting myself with Compulsive Religious Disorder. What with all the ballyhoo, you HAVE to brood about what god is all about. Does he exist ? (It’s a HE alright. A SHE would make sure she is seen and noticed). That’s plain daft. Of course he exists. There is always something poking your butt and screwing your plans. It could only be a severe case of Piles, Hernia or God. Take your pick.
We all have, at some point been through phases of low self confidence, frustration etc which existed only because we didn’t know what to do with it, in the first place. Our pea-sized intellect was quasi-religious algorithms all compiled together. It’s all your karma. It was obviously what you did in your previous birth. Having gas problems ? Its those potatoes you had in 1951.
The reasons for our successes are never our own serious lack of talent and a war chest of useless skills. Of course we are all born with jack knives and hope it will ward off a T-72 battle tank. Like my classic rants , for instance. One of my friends was bangin’ on about god. He has the latest updates and is a walking Beta-version User manual of god. He is so pathological about it that he will chop your head off if you disagree. And everything is interlaced with a clarion call (like the ting tong on All India Radio) about what an illusion this materialistic life is.
With a Porsche CarreraGT high on my wish list, I didn’t want to pay much attention to him. But then someone interjected his prose and asked a daft question. “Then is it ok for you to chain smoke, wont it be sacrilegious ?” Answer: “…..er…..umm…well, we are all but puppets, there is a time for everything….my previous addiction of alcohol, meat etc was all for my own good. God made me do it, so that I wouldn’t have any craving for them anymore”. Oh, cool.
Why would you need to hang on to an infatuation with an alkaloid through out your life and brand us lesser beings as materialists. You need a chemical running in your veins for every 5mins even with god’s help, for godsakes. Most of us can do without it. AND I WANT MY GODDAMNED CARRERA GT. And I don’t think I can book one with meditation.
For each of us have our gods. For some, he smells of petrol and whines like a turbocharger. For some he is beyond visual range (BVR). …and for rest with ‘different’ maturity , he is a set of 12 wooden expressions called Shahrukh.

Disclaimer: I am THEIST, myself. I believe in God. Unfortunately I have my own theory about god. Uh, well, even god doesn’t really approve of it.