Being brown in England has its peculiarities. A lot of the shops are run by Asians, first or second generation. Most of them would have come to the UK as unskilled migrants or asylum seekers long time ago. However, today they are all very much British, except they are not.
Couple of weeks ago, I was on my laptop hunt. I decided to visit the local Sony Style outlet in Staines and was contemplating buying my VAIO SZ there (even though costs a couple of hundred quid more there, I felt better about buying in a proper store in case my laptop packs up). This place was run by a couple of Asian jerks (probably Bangladeshi). One of them was busy spitting marketing jargon to a (seemingly wealthy) man and his wife about the virtues of a 50” overpriced LCD TV and how it will help him be a dad. The other one was zealously clicking on his computer. Being a bio-informatician, I obviously knew the importance of clicking and looking busy. The big one called out to him and asked him to attend to me. This guy takes one look at me and gives me “what the hell are you doing here? The cheap discount shop is down the road” look. I explain to him that I’m looking for the VAIO SZ3HP/B (I had done my research).
Sales Jerk: “The ass-zade ? Ummmm, wait, I weell chake”
Me: “Ok”
Sales Jerk: “There is nothing like that”
Me: “Really? It was on your website”
Sales Jerk: “(Pucking Rossogulla) I weell chake on the computer”
After 5mins of fervent and rigorous clicking, the sales jerk realises that such a laptop does exist and is the same one as in the huge poster on the shop window. Suddenly…
Sales Jerk: “You want to buy eet ?”
Me: “ Yeah, but I’d like to take a look at it first to see if I like it”
Sales Jerk: “ So you only want to look ? You weell not buying now?”
Me: “I want to take a look first. Only then will I decide on buying it. Obviously I will take my time before deciding to spend over a grand on a computer”
By this time Sales jerk decides that he doesn’t understand my “Asian” accent.
Sales Jerk is very irritated and decides to get rid of me.
Sales Jerk: “There is no shtock, tell me you want to buying or no buying. Bheecause I weell have to get it from Keengshton shop”
Me: “ When can you get it ?”
Sales Jerk: “ 3 days it weell take”. That’s rubbish ’cos Kingston is 15mins away. I knew he was giving me the usual and was very irritated.
Me: “ Ok listen, I’m in a hurry and I want to buy the Laptop right NOW, will I get the laptop if I go down to Kingston myself, NOW”
Sales Jerk is now confused and realises I’m a real buyer and I‘m pissed.
Sales Jerk “ I weell try and get it tomorrow for you”
I asked him to get the computer and left him with a fake phone number to call as soon as he gets it. I then went home and bought my laptop online. Heh.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
The wrong horsie
Backing the wrong horse has been a favourite past time of mine. I have done it since times immemorial (I really mean selective amnesia here). The crux seems to lie in my sense of absolute judgement. Everyone else seems to be at it, and failing too. That makes me feel better, in the same way we feel good when a friend fails a test (along with us, of course).
My nearly immense intelligence and general knowledge have consistently bettered my choices (assuming the bad ones aren’t counted). I generally use all my collective powers when I have to choose. I only “look” like I have made bad choices in life. But I usually have a strong argument and an even more incredible logic to support my bad choices, when they are being made. All in real-time. Around four or five years ago I decided to replace the computer at home with a better one. Mind you, I had, by this time, read almost every issue of the “Chip” magazine. All that knowledge just HAD to be used. There were two competing RAM technologies in the market. The RD-RAM backed by Intel and DDR by AMD. Technically, both had their uses. Deciding which one’s going to be the future was a tough call. I decided to back Intel and go for the RD-RAM. My logic being Intel had more money power and will weed out AMD off the market in no time. In a years time Intel dropped RD-RAM and backed DDR (a rival technology !!). What were the odds !!? Really. However, at the time, I had people convinced I’m talking sense. A friend of mine who thought that a monitor is the “computer” was completely taken in by my choice when I had explained it to him. Many such decisions have successfully shaped my life. More like an amoeba’s.
In my life I see a lot of such decisions coming. Blu-Ray or HD-DVD for example ? My bets are on the Blu-Ray.
Like this, the wrong horse has always been my favourite horse. It never mattered when it lost. I’d make sure I come up with an explanation of its virtues even before the horse lost. I have always found my joy with the wrong horse and the pain of losing would soon be forgotten. Little wonder I hate Ferrari F1. It’s the wrong sort of horse.
My nearly immense intelligence and general knowledge have consistently bettered my choices (assuming the bad ones aren’t counted). I generally use all my collective powers when I have to choose. I only “look” like I have made bad choices in life. But I usually have a strong argument and an even more incredible logic to support my bad choices, when they are being made. All in real-time. Around four or five years ago I decided to replace the computer at home with a better one. Mind you, I had, by this time, read almost every issue of the “Chip” magazine. All that knowledge just HAD to be used. There were two competing RAM technologies in the market. The RD-RAM backed by Intel and DDR by AMD. Technically, both had their uses. Deciding which one’s going to be the future was a tough call. I decided to back Intel and go for the RD-RAM. My logic being Intel had more money power and will weed out AMD off the market in no time. In a years time Intel dropped RD-RAM and backed DDR (a rival technology !!). What were the odds !!? Really. However, at the time, I had people convinced I’m talking sense. A friend of mine who thought that a monitor is the “computer” was completely taken in by my choice when I had explained it to him. Many such decisions have successfully shaped my life. More like an amoeba’s.
In my life I see a lot of such decisions coming. Blu-Ray or HD-DVD for example ? My bets are on the Blu-Ray.
Like this, the wrong horse has always been my favourite horse. It never mattered when it lost. I’d make sure I come up with an explanation of its virtues even before the horse lost. I have always found my joy with the wrong horse and the pain of losing would soon be forgotten. Little wonder I hate Ferrari F1. It’s the wrong sort of horse.
Monday, December 25, 2006
The new computer
After months of yapping about wanting a new laptop, I finally bought myself one. My trusty old weighty Dell will now be sold as granite. My new laptop is called a Sony VAIO SZ3HP/B. I did consider the MacBookPro, but I decided that it was just neatly packed bullshit as I was getting a better spec on the Sony for almost the same money and a kg lighter too. A lot many people did volunteer the info that Sony too is neatly packed expensive bullshit. However, in my case a very good deal on the Sony made it extremely competitive. Btw, I bought it off this place called "Internet" or whatever the hell it’s called. Some said it was the web.
I was quite well warned about Sony’s recent quality and reliability issues. But I myself have had a good experience with (my father’s) VAIO FJ and it hasn't shown any half life yet. The build quality was top-notch and I saw no reason why I shouldn’t buy another VAIO.
Like most people with no social life, I decided to review my laptop and blog it. Most reviews found in magazines and the web of the internet online smacked of PR-jargon and were no help in making any judgement about the product. So here’s mine without the usual.
To start with, the specifications read as Core 2 Duo 1.83GHz, 1GB DDR2 SDRAM, 100 GB 5400rpm HDD, 13.3" WXGA display, WinXP Pro, WiFi, Bluetooth, built-in web cam, 128MB nVIDIA GeForce graphics with TurboCache nonsense AND an Intel GMA945 graphics unit and the usual DVD burner. Product weighs 1.8kg.
The build is pretty impressive. The palm rest area has a nice brushed aluminium finish and the chassis is apparently magnesium alloy. The plastics are nothing exceptional but the display shows very little flex, which needless to say is a very good sign. The lid has a tough sandpaper textured finish and the underside plastics feel super robust. The keyboard has a soft podgy feel to it. I’m taking my time getting used to it. I’m not sure whether it’s a good or a bad thing.
One interesting feature is the Stamina-Speed button. This switches between the NVIDIA Geforce (for graphics power!) and the Intel GMA graphics (for better battery!). In theory, a hybrid system trying to find a balance between power and mobility. In theory. Good theory. However, to switch between the two systems you need to restart. Which brings me to the question, why have an external hardware switch at all ? Couldn’t it just be implemented in the software ? The NVIDIA provides some impressive graphics muscle for a laptop of this size. Easily one of the best in class, especially as the rest of the class is using the Intel GMA945 rubbish.
Sony says the battery should last "upto" 5 hours on the stamina mode (The "upto" presumably means its not their fault if it lasts more). Which like all other Sony press releases, is utter bollocks. I have been able to squeeze out only 4 and a quarter in my best behaviour. Which is not too bad considering the competition. The Wi-Fi button very, interestingly, also controls the BlueTooth. This I think is a design flaw. One has to switch on the Bluetooth as well to use the wifi. Considering one doesn’t use BlueTooth as much as the wifi, its just a waste of the battery resources. I havent checked the full battery recharge time yet but it seems to be pretty fast. Of course like most Vaios this one too comes with a heavy brick like charger which appears medieval in comparison to Toshiba's sleek and small charger. However it does its job pretty well. The vaio comes with a Memory stick Pro Duo card reader and also, surprise surprise, an SD card reader (thats a major deviation from Sony's earlier policy of supporting only the Memory Stick format). Like all vaio, the SZ too comes with a lot of crapware. So if you were ever worried about having excess computing power, this takes care of it all. However, it can be turned off using MSCONFIG on WinXP.
One of my previous issues with Vaios was the heat problem, which never failed to supply third degree burns for your lap. It does make for a good birth control measure, though. The SZ seems to have taken care of it seamlessly. It NEVER gets hot even when running on the mains and the vents are in the rear, not on the sides. The fans are noticeably very silent and the hard disk cant be heard most of the time.
All in all, it seems to hold on well to what I had thought it to be before buying. The only unanswered question is reliability. The "made in Japan" label on the underside is a good start (unlike many other vaios, which are made in china). However, I'll have to wait and see if thats any guarantee.
I was quite well warned about Sony’s recent quality and reliability issues. But I myself have had a good experience with (my father’s) VAIO FJ and it hasn't shown any half life yet. The build quality was top-notch and I saw no reason why I shouldn’t buy another VAIO.
Like most people with no social life, I decided to review my laptop and blog it. Most reviews found in magazines and the web of the internet online smacked of PR-jargon and were no help in making any judgement about the product. So here’s mine without the usual.
To start with, the specifications read as Core 2 Duo 1.83GHz, 1GB DDR2 SDRAM, 100 GB 5400rpm HDD, 13.3" WXGA display, WinXP Pro, WiFi, Bluetooth, built-in web cam, 128MB nVIDIA GeForce graphics with TurboCache nonsense AND an Intel GMA945 graphics unit and the usual DVD burner. Product weighs 1.8kg.
The build is pretty impressive. The palm rest area has a nice brushed aluminium finish and the chassis is apparently magnesium alloy. The plastics are nothing exceptional but the display shows very little flex, which needless to say is a very good sign. The lid has a tough sandpaper textured finish and the underside plastics feel super robust. The keyboard has a soft podgy feel to it. I’m taking my time getting used to it. I’m not sure whether it’s a good or a bad thing.
One interesting feature is the Stamina-Speed button. This switches between the NVIDIA Geforce (for graphics power!) and the Intel GMA graphics (for better battery!). In theory, a hybrid system trying to find a balance between power and mobility. In theory. Good theory. However, to switch between the two systems you need to restart. Which brings me to the question, why have an external hardware switch at all ? Couldn’t it just be implemented in the software ? The NVIDIA provides some impressive graphics muscle for a laptop of this size. Easily one of the best in class, especially as the rest of the class is using the Intel GMA945 rubbish.
Sony says the battery should last "upto" 5 hours on the stamina mode (The "upto" presumably means its not their fault if it lasts more). Which like all other Sony press releases, is utter bollocks. I have been able to squeeze out only 4 and a quarter in my best behaviour. Which is not too bad considering the competition. The Wi-Fi button very, interestingly, also controls the BlueTooth. This I think is a design flaw. One has to switch on the Bluetooth as well to use the wifi. Considering one doesn’t use BlueTooth as much as the wifi, its just a waste of the battery resources. I havent checked the full battery recharge time yet but it seems to be pretty fast. Of course like most Vaios this one too comes with a heavy brick like charger which appears medieval in comparison to Toshiba's sleek and small charger. However it does its job pretty well. The vaio comes with a Memory stick Pro Duo card reader and also, surprise surprise, an SD card reader (thats a major deviation from Sony's earlier policy of supporting only the Memory Stick format). Like all vaio, the SZ too comes with a lot of crapware. So if you were ever worried about having excess computing power, this takes care of it all. However, it can be turned off using MSCONFIG on WinXP.
One of my previous issues with Vaios was the heat problem, which never failed to supply third degree burns for your lap. It does make for a good birth control measure, though. The SZ seems to have taken care of it seamlessly. It NEVER gets hot even when running on the mains and the vents are in the rear, not on the sides. The fans are noticeably very silent and the hard disk cant be heard most of the time.
All in all, it seems to hold on well to what I had thought it to be before buying. The only unanswered question is reliability. The "made in Japan" label on the underside is a good start (unlike many other vaios, which are made in china). However, I'll have to wait and see if thats any guarantee.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Straightish
I'm very suspicious of people who say that they are "very straight forward". It puts me right on guard and my ears stand up like an alsatian's. When the subject is uttering "I.....am......straight....forward", I hear "Action stations ! Torpedo Torpedo Torpedo!". For me it would appear like a desperate canvassing attempt, which is wholly unnecessary, unless you have been knitting something in your mind. I dont remember saying that I'm straight forward, to anyone. It is for the simple reason that I am NOT straight forward. Of course, I can say it here 'cos this is MY blog and no one's going to read it. For sure. (I do keep a few people updated with everything in my life. Its a result of time spent together. When you look around these people are never absent nor busy. I never had to fix an appointment with them).
However, it doesnt need to be all this serious always. I usually find "I am straight forward"ness to be directly related to a complex of some sort. Thankfully, that can definitely be accomodated. Complexes are not new to any of us. We have had them at one point of our lives or the other. If today, we are out of it, then half of the thanks goes to the people around us. They have been great.
P.S: Patrons are requested NOT to assume straight-forwardness to be the same as Honesty.
However, it doesnt need to be all this serious always. I usually find "I am straight forward"ness to be directly related to a complex of some sort. Thankfully, that can definitely be accomodated. Complexes are not new to any of us. We have had them at one point of our lives or the other. If today, we are out of it, then half of the thanks goes to the people around us. They have been great.
P.S: Patrons are requested NOT to assume straight-forwardness to be the same as Honesty.
and then...
If anyone accidently read the post below there is a chance (p value=< 0.0001) that they would have asked themselves why then most humans are different from potatoes. These days biologists are a lot like software engineers(eg. the guys who did Windows Media center edition). Both are relentless in their pursuit of answers to questions no one ever asked.
So, the idiot version is:
The genes in humans are very diverse in their action. They give rise to more number of proteins than the average potato. These proteins form complex machines like the brain and various organs rather than finger chips or wafers.
So, the idiot version is:
The genes in humans are very diverse in their action. They give rise to more number of proteins than the average potato. These proteins form complex machines like the brain and various organs rather than finger chips or wafers.
Monday, October 30, 2006
First, the good news...
Here is something to make you all feel better. Humans (thats us, for all you non-biologists) have the same number of genes as a...... you guessed it !......a potato. Yes. THE potato. The ultimate feature-less, tasteless, lump of nothingness. Come to think of it, everything falls into place like a two piece jigsaw puzzle. The endless crusade to find out who I am, all reduced to a premarked multiple choice question by genomics.Its such a relief, really. I dont have to explain my behaviour anymore. Its all very much in character. You cant even accuse me of being full of gas.Idiots, morons, nitwits, thick heads thou shalt all serenade in full glory. Its all genetic, stupid. We finally know what we are staring at when looking inside a masala dosa.
However, we must tread with caution. We can only hope that, our cousins, the potatoes dont know this yet. We may see mass uprising, call for a revolution blah blah yadda yadda, in the future. History will truly repeat itself with the potatoes having a leader who will unashamedly appear in all possible textbooks (and will repeat himself in all languages). There will be call for reservations (to set right the thousands of years worth of oppression) and soon enough you will find yourself writing stinky code sitting next to a potato. You dont fancy that, do you ?
However, we must tread with caution. We can only hope that, our cousins, the potatoes dont know this yet. We may see mass uprising, call for a revolution blah blah yadda yadda, in the future. History will truly repeat itself with the potatoes having a leader who will unashamedly appear in all possible textbooks (and will repeat himself in all languages). There will be call for reservations (to set right the thousands of years worth of oppression) and soon enough you will find yourself writing stinky code sitting next to a potato. You dont fancy that, do you ?
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
The New place
My BA flight to Heathrow was rather uneventful, unlike the last time, when the flight itself was quite an event. After 9 hours of watching mind numbing in-flight entertainment, I was at Heathrow (I’m pretty sure I slept during the flight, but can’t figure out which was sleep and which was entertainment)
I’m now here at Staines. My work place is at Egham, a little place which pretends to be a village. I bet its not a village, though. Its got a Maserati-Ferrari showroom, for god sakes !!
Staines and Egham look very cosmopolitan. And rich too. You see a lot of expensive cars around. Everyone seems to have good money and were advised by Jeremy Clarkson. I see cars which I thought nobody ever bought. Audi S8, Audi RS6, Merc SL 500, Merc AMGs, BMW M5, M6, Bentley Continental GT and even Maybach too. Not to mention countless Mercedes S-Class. I have never seen so many S-Classes in my life.
Of course the downside is that everything is expensive. Average room which was around £300 a month in Norwich might cost well over £400 here.
Another thing is, Asian immigrants seem to have settled around the place rather well. There are Coffee shops, Delis etc run by Asians (Indians mostly). The interesting thing here is that these jobs require freer interaction with the locals. This certainly is an improvement over the ghetto attitude found elsewhere (like Bristol for example?). And the best part is that even Indians here think its NOT ok to buy a crap car.
I’m now here at Staines. My work place is at Egham, a little place which pretends to be a village. I bet its not a village, though. Its got a Maserati-Ferrari showroom, for god sakes !!
Staines and Egham look very cosmopolitan. And rich too. You see a lot of expensive cars around. Everyone seems to have good money and were advised by Jeremy Clarkson. I see cars which I thought nobody ever bought. Audi S8, Audi RS6, Merc SL 500, Merc AMGs, BMW M5, M6, Bentley Continental GT and even Maybach too. Not to mention countless Mercedes S-Class. I have never seen so many S-Classes in my life.
Of course the downside is that everything is expensive. Average room which was around £300 a month in Norwich might cost well over £400 here.
Another thing is, Asian immigrants seem to have settled around the place rather well. There are Coffee shops, Delis etc run by Asians (Indians mostly). The interesting thing here is that these jobs require freer interaction with the locals. This certainly is an improvement over the ghetto attitude found elsewhere (like Bristol for example?). And the best part is that even Indians here think its NOT ok to buy a crap car.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
planscape
Heh, there have been some developments. A couple of months ago in a dark room a plot to hire a bioinformatician was made by silhouetted people in trench coats. A few weeks ago, a work permit arrived by DHL. And a visa was issued by the British High Commission. And a British Airways BLR-LHR ticket was delivered arrived two days ago.
Ah, all set for the Normandy landings (or Felixstowe, whatever you please). AND this time too, I think I have thought of everything, of course. Avoid Air India: Check. Dont listen to idiots while packing: Check. Dont listen to anyone: Check.
Ah, all set for the Normandy landings (or Felixstowe, whatever you please). AND this time too, I think I have thought of everything, of course. Avoid Air India: Check. Dont listen to idiots while packing: Check. Dont listen to anyone: Check.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Self theory ? yes please.
I came across a post “Self Theory” on my friend, Nadig's blog :
the world can only be turned right side up by the conscious collective activity of those who construct a theory of why it is upside down. Spontaneous rebellion alone is not sufficient. Without adequate advance preparation, the old world will simply reappear after any rebellion, embedded as it is in the psyches of the fabled people. an authentic revolution can only occur if there is a coherent and practical mass movement of self-conscious individuals in which all of the mystifications of the past are being consciously swept away.
It counts among the most intelligent things I have ever heard anyone say. Thought I should share it with you.
I don’t really read philosophy or any thing even remotely similar. But this particular post caught my attention. Past few months of my life have been quite testing. Trying to make people "see" something is a hard job. The closer they are the harder it gets. When all the rebellion and revolutions were done with, things did reappear as before, frustratingly, unchanged. They re-appeared so convincingly that they nearly shook the very foundations on which both my sanity and insanity stood, threatening to topple both.
Rebellion only encapsulates us from "reality" for a short but very re-assuring period. It is a spontaneous reaction and as I later found out, pretty much useless. Though useless, its quite important. It assures the individual that he is not part of the grind and has a mind of his own.
I for one am convinced that there will be no "coherent and practical mass movement". My society hasn’t seen a mass movement for decades now, I’m sure. Cable TV was the closest. Shame.
the world can only be turned right side up by the conscious collective activity of those who construct a theory of why it is upside down. Spontaneous rebellion alone is not sufficient. Without adequate advance preparation, the old world will simply reappear after any rebellion, embedded as it is in the psyches of the fabled people. an authentic revolution can only occur if there is a coherent and practical mass movement of self-conscious individuals in which all of the mystifications of the past are being consciously swept away.
It counts among the most intelligent things I have ever heard anyone say. Thought I should share it with you.
I don’t really read philosophy or any thing even remotely similar. But this particular post caught my attention. Past few months of my life have been quite testing. Trying to make people "see" something is a hard job. The closer they are the harder it gets. When all the rebellion and revolutions were done with, things did reappear as before, frustratingly, unchanged. They re-appeared so convincingly that they nearly shook the very foundations on which both my sanity and insanity stood, threatening to topple both.
Rebellion only encapsulates us from "reality" for a short but very re-assuring period. It is a spontaneous reaction and as I later found out, pretty much useless. Though useless, its quite important. It assures the individual that he is not part of the grind and has a mind of his own.
I for one am convinced that there will be no "coherent and practical mass movement". My society hasn’t seen a mass movement for decades now, I’m sure. Cable TV was the closest. Shame.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
so the idiot version
Thought of changing the Blog title randomly for no apparent reason. (Makes me feel I'm moving on in life)
So the first re-name which hit me was "The Bastard Version" . But I soon realised my folly. All the bastards promptly felt offended. They alleged that it was equivalent to desecrating a certain statue and all the state transport buses will have to be burnt. Good lord ! No ! Not the state transport buses !
So, the Idiot Version (Hope this wont upset too many of my relatives, now)
So the first re-name which hit me was "The Bastard Version" . But I soon realised my folly. All the bastards promptly felt offended. They alleged that it was equivalent to desecrating a certain statue and all the state transport buses will have to be burnt. Good lord ! No ! Not the state transport buses !
So, the Idiot Version (Hope this wont upset too many of my relatives, now)
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
A dream...paused
Meine Herran,
The venerable Porsche Carrera GT is now officially at the end of its production run. Porsche AG has rolled out 1,270 CarreraGTs in total. The last CarreraGT was rolled out on the 6th of May.
The screaming all new 5700cc V10 , 605bhp engine was based on a Le Man racer and mated with a 6-speed manual transmission. For me, CarreraGT epitomised the greatest supercar of my generation. There was the Ferrari Enzo, Merc McLaren SLR, Koenigsegg and even the 1001bhp Bugatti Veyron, and I couldn’t care less.
Admittedly the supercar domain is fairly crowded. Almost all of these cars belt out over 600 bhp. All of them do over 300 kph and all of them look like supermodels in very less clothes. But there was something about the Carrera GT that was special. No, it was hardly the fastest car, it was not really the most good looking either. But something about it was a pace-maker.
Porsche could have gone all out and come up with a car to defeat the benchmark, the McLaren F1. But they did not. It would be silly to think Porsche did not have the technology. For some reason they have held back. It is evident in the specifications 605bhp (compared to Enzo’s 625bhp) etc. Porsche seemed to know exactly what they wanted out of the CarreraGT. They did NOT want a straight line world record holder. They wanted a track car. Though the CarreraGT was launched months before the much powerful Ferrari Enzo, Porsche couldn’t care less. They seemed to know what they had made. An epic.
On a track though, the Carerra GT blitzed competition with its razor sharp handling and knife-edge precision. And the fact that Porsche stuck to the good ol’ manual transmission rather than some jargon-loaded auto box was brilliant.
The blood curdling scream of the V10s, the exquisite weave of carbon fibre, the titanium exhausts all added to make a wonderful dream. Always makes me a 4 yr old.
In my extended childhood (also called adulthood), nothing has held my imagination for so long. Every time I saw one on TV I knew I wanted to be a millionaire or gadzillionaire or whatever. I just needed £340,000 double quick. Damn reality was always being rude and interrupted my life when I least wanted it. Damn.
“In the constant battle between god and German engineering, god finishes second”.
- Jeremy Clarkson
The venerable Porsche Carrera GT is now officially at the end of its production run. Porsche AG has rolled out 1,270 CarreraGTs in total. The last CarreraGT was rolled out on the 6th of May.
The screaming all new 5700cc V10 , 605bhp engine was based on a Le Man racer and mated with a 6-speed manual transmission. For me, CarreraGT epitomised the greatest supercar of my generation. There was the Ferrari Enzo, Merc McLaren SLR, Koenigsegg and even the 1001bhp Bugatti Veyron, and I couldn’t care less.
Admittedly the supercar domain is fairly crowded. Almost all of these cars belt out over 600 bhp. All of them do over 300 kph and all of them look like supermodels in very less clothes. But there was something about the Carrera GT that was special. No, it was hardly the fastest car, it was not really the most good looking either. But something about it was a pace-maker.
Porsche could have gone all out and come up with a car to defeat the benchmark, the McLaren F1. But they did not. It would be silly to think Porsche did not have the technology. For some reason they have held back. It is evident in the specifications 605bhp (compared to Enzo’s 625bhp) etc. Porsche seemed to know exactly what they wanted out of the CarreraGT. They did NOT want a straight line world record holder. They wanted a track car. Though the CarreraGT was launched months before the much powerful Ferrari Enzo, Porsche couldn’t care less. They seemed to know what they had made. An epic.
On a track though, the Carerra GT blitzed competition with its razor sharp handling and knife-edge precision. And the fact that Porsche stuck to the good ol’ manual transmission rather than some jargon-loaded auto box was brilliant.
The blood curdling scream of the V10s, the exquisite weave of carbon fibre, the titanium exhausts all added to make a wonderful dream. Always makes me a 4 yr old.
In my extended childhood (also called adulthood), nothing has held my imagination for so long. Every time I saw one on TV I knew I wanted to be a millionaire or gadzillionaire or whatever. I just needed £340,000 double quick. Damn reality was always being rude and interrupted my life when I least wanted it. Damn.
“In the constant battle between god and German engineering, god finishes second”.
- Jeremy Clarkson
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Caste away
Since we all like talking about being deep in shit, let’s take a look at the issue from arse-upwards. Let us look at it from the end point.
When our beloved government came to power along with their Communist comrades, there was a talk about introducing reservations in the private sector! How brilliant is that!
Like most of the problems dogging us, the reservation issue too is a result of someone else’s petty politics. Arjun Singh, VP Singh one and the same thing. I was skimming through another incredibly boring edition of The Week magazine and I found a useful bit of news. Apparently, the last caste based census was conducted in 1931. Since us Indians have demonstrated that it is possible to multiply like the rabbits and beat the rabbits at their own game, the data from the 1931 census is as useful as the dinosaur census.
Today, who are these backward castes? How do you identify them? The present time is handing out jobs for all regardless of social classifications. The system today is arguably quite impartial. When was the last time you had to name your caste on the CV?
There is an urgent need for the policy makers to forge their balls in steel and re-define and restate that instead of backward castes, we are better off with a Backward class reservation. Many families from the upper castes live in abject poverty. Conversely, numerous families from the lower castes have done well economically.
This is an excerpt from the Indian Constitution:
Legal identification of Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes
Selection criteria for scheduled castes
1. Cannot be served by clean Brahmans
2. Cannot be served by the barbers, water-carriers, tailors, etc. who serve the caste Hindus
3. Pollutes a high-caste Hindu by contact or by proximity
4. Is one from whose hands a caste Hindu cannot take water
5. Is debarred from using public amenities such as roads, ferries, wells, or schools
6. Will not be treated as an equal by high-caste men of the same educational qualification in ordinary social intercourse
7. Is depressed on account of the occupation followed and, but for that, occupation would be subject to no social disability
Selection criteria for scheduled tribes
1. Tribal origin
2. Primitive ways of life and habitation in remote and less accessible areas
3. General backwardness in all respects
Source: Constitution of India
Now that you have read the above, the whole issue of SC/ST OBC reservations looks like fresh horse manure. We have not changed our definitions with changing times and rocketing economy. Lets have a small section of our resources reserved for people who are lagging behind. But NOT without changing the criteria for the eligibility.
Alright alright, I’m talking through my bum. If we had a temper for change even Mandal would not have happened.
Since the last few generations, we highly privileged upper caste back benchers, have quietly accepted reservation policies and vote bank politics. By now most of us have realized that in this country where votes are catalyzed with arrack sachets, it is unfair to expect political leaders to stand up for us. Weeks have passed and no leader has spoken yet. Surprisingly, the supposed couch potato generation has found its guts. For me it was simply unbelievable to see our friends unite in different parts of the nation, making silent protests. The very manner in which the protests were done makes me proud to say that I belong to this generation. Gandhi is passé.
I cannot really speculate about the outcome of this mass movement. Maybe we will be victorious and can force a fair policy. Maybe we will all be brushed aside in the interest of national disintegration. Whatever it is, surely we must not stop now. I am not expecting a miracle to happen. Some where in the corner of my mind, I realize that a real solution to this problem can be arrived at only if the real OBC voice their opinion through real people (not some farce political party or leader). I am sure that most OBC today, are tired of being insulted with free quotas. Of course, everyone’s conscience knows that real equality is when you are neither privileged nor deprived. An OBC doesn’t really want his intelligence and ego hurt by being labelled the caste which needs a push to clear exams, get through professional courses AND a push to get a job.
This mass movement should have been by OBC and not the so called upper caste. It is the OBC who should have protested the perpetual insult programme. They should come forward and ask their guardian angels like Arjun Singh to piss off. It is only they who can put an end to this.
My two cents.....
When our beloved government came to power along with their Communist comrades, there was a talk about introducing reservations in the private sector! How brilliant is that!
Like most of the problems dogging us, the reservation issue too is a result of someone else’s petty politics. Arjun Singh, VP Singh one and the same thing. I was skimming through another incredibly boring edition of The Week magazine and I found a useful bit of news. Apparently, the last caste based census was conducted in 1931. Since us Indians have demonstrated that it is possible to multiply like the rabbits and beat the rabbits at their own game, the data from the 1931 census is as useful as the dinosaur census.
Today, who are these backward castes? How do you identify them? The present time is handing out jobs for all regardless of social classifications. The system today is arguably quite impartial. When was the last time you had to name your caste on the CV?
There is an urgent need for the policy makers to forge their balls in steel and re-define and restate that instead of backward castes, we are better off with a Backward class reservation. Many families from the upper castes live in abject poverty. Conversely, numerous families from the lower castes have done well economically.
This is an excerpt from the Indian Constitution:
Legal identification of Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes
Selection criteria for scheduled castes
1. Cannot be served by clean Brahmans
2. Cannot be served by the barbers, water-carriers, tailors, etc. who serve the caste Hindus
3. Pollutes a high-caste Hindu by contact or by proximity
4. Is one from whose hands a caste Hindu cannot take water
5. Is debarred from using public amenities such as roads, ferries, wells, or schools
6. Will not be treated as an equal by high-caste men of the same educational qualification in ordinary social intercourse
7. Is depressed on account of the occupation followed and, but for that, occupation would be subject to no social disability
Selection criteria for scheduled tribes
1. Tribal origin
2. Primitive ways of life and habitation in remote and less accessible areas
3. General backwardness in all respects
Source: Constitution of India
Now that you have read the above, the whole issue of SC/ST OBC reservations looks like fresh horse manure. We have not changed our definitions with changing times and rocketing economy. Lets have a small section of our resources reserved for people who are lagging behind. But NOT without changing the criteria for the eligibility.
Alright alright, I’m talking through my bum. If we had a temper for change even Mandal would not have happened.
Since the last few generations, we highly privileged upper caste back benchers, have quietly accepted reservation policies and vote bank politics. By now most of us have realized that in this country where votes are catalyzed with arrack sachets, it is unfair to expect political leaders to stand up for us. Weeks have passed and no leader has spoken yet. Surprisingly, the supposed couch potato generation has found its guts. For me it was simply unbelievable to see our friends unite in different parts of the nation, making silent protests. The very manner in which the protests were done makes me proud to say that I belong to this generation. Gandhi is passé.
I cannot really speculate about the outcome of this mass movement. Maybe we will be victorious and can force a fair policy. Maybe we will all be brushed aside in the interest of national disintegration. Whatever it is, surely we must not stop now. I am not expecting a miracle to happen. Some where in the corner of my mind, I realize that a real solution to this problem can be arrived at only if the real OBC voice their opinion through real people (not some farce political party or leader). I am sure that most OBC today, are tired of being insulted with free quotas. Of course, everyone’s conscience knows that real equality is when you are neither privileged nor deprived. An OBC doesn’t really want his intelligence and ego hurt by being labelled the caste which needs a push to clear exams, get through professional courses AND a push to get a job.
This mass movement should have been by OBC and not the so called upper caste. It is the OBC who should have protested the perpetual insult programme. They should come forward and ask their guardian angels like Arjun Singh to piss off. It is only they who can put an end to this.
My two cents.....
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
God damn !
Am I part of the cure or am I part of the disease ? I have always blinked when choosing between them. Of course, it wasn’t until Coldplay sang Clocks that I could plagiarize the line and sound deep.
As part of our super duper gadzuper life, I have kept off infecting myself with Compulsive Religious Disorder. What with all the ballyhoo, you HAVE to brood about what god is all about. Does he exist ? (It’s a HE alright. A SHE would make sure she is seen and noticed). That’s plain daft. Of course he exists. There is always something poking your butt and screwing your plans. It could only be a severe case of Piles, Hernia or God. Take your pick.
We all have, at some point been through phases of low self confidence, frustration etc which existed only because we didn’t know what to do with it, in the first place. Our pea-sized intellect was quasi-religious algorithms all compiled together. It’s all your karma. It was obviously what you did in your previous birth. Having gas problems ? Its those potatoes you had in 1951.
The reasons for our successes are never our own serious lack of talent and a war chest of useless skills. Of course we are all born with jack knives and hope it will ward off a T-72 battle tank. Like my classic rants , for instance. One of my friends was bangin’ on about god. He has the latest updates and is a walking Beta-version User manual of god. He is so pathological about it that he will chop your head off if you disagree. And everything is interlaced with a clarion call (like the ting tong on All India Radio) about what an illusion this materialistic life is.
With a Porsche CarreraGT high on my wish list, I didn’t want to pay much attention to him. But then someone interjected his prose and asked a daft question. “Then is it ok for you to chain smoke, wont it be sacrilegious ?” Answer: “…..er…..umm…well, we are all but puppets, there is a time for everything….my previous addiction of alcohol, meat etc was all for my own good. God made me do it, so that I wouldn’t have any craving for them anymore”. Oh, cool.
Why would you need to hang on to an infatuation with an alkaloid through out your life and brand us lesser beings as materialists. You need a chemical running in your veins for every 5mins even with god’s help, for godsakes. Most of us can do without it. AND I WANT MY GODDAMNED CARRERA GT. And I don’t think I can book one with meditation.
For each of us have our gods. For some, he smells of petrol and whines like a turbocharger. For some he is beyond visual range (BVR). …and for rest with ‘different’ maturity , he is a set of 12 wooden expressions called Shahrukh.
Disclaimer: I am THEIST, myself. I believe in God. Unfortunately I have my own theory about god. Uh, well, even god doesn’t really approve of it.
As part of our super duper gadzuper life, I have kept off infecting myself with Compulsive Religious Disorder. What with all the ballyhoo, you HAVE to brood about what god is all about. Does he exist ? (It’s a HE alright. A SHE would make sure she is seen and noticed). That’s plain daft. Of course he exists. There is always something poking your butt and screwing your plans. It could only be a severe case of Piles, Hernia or God. Take your pick.
We all have, at some point been through phases of low self confidence, frustration etc which existed only because we didn’t know what to do with it, in the first place. Our pea-sized intellect was quasi-religious algorithms all compiled together. It’s all your karma. It was obviously what you did in your previous birth. Having gas problems ? Its those potatoes you had in 1951.
The reasons for our successes are never our own serious lack of talent and a war chest of useless skills. Of course we are all born with jack knives and hope it will ward off a T-72 battle tank. Like my classic rants , for instance. One of my friends was bangin’ on about god. He has the latest updates and is a walking Beta-version User manual of god. He is so pathological about it that he will chop your head off if you disagree. And everything is interlaced with a clarion call (like the ting tong on All India Radio) about what an illusion this materialistic life is.
With a Porsche CarreraGT high on my wish list, I didn’t want to pay much attention to him. But then someone interjected his prose and asked a daft question. “Then is it ok for you to chain smoke, wont it be sacrilegious ?” Answer: “…..er…..umm…well, we are all but puppets, there is a time for everything….my previous addiction of alcohol, meat etc was all for my own good. God made me do it, so that I wouldn’t have any craving for them anymore”. Oh, cool.
Why would you need to hang on to an infatuation with an alkaloid through out your life and brand us lesser beings as materialists. You need a chemical running in your veins for every 5mins even with god’s help, for godsakes. Most of us can do without it. AND I WANT MY GODDAMNED CARRERA GT. And I don’t think I can book one with meditation.
For each of us have our gods. For some, he smells of petrol and whines like a turbocharger. For some he is beyond visual range (BVR). …and for rest with ‘different’ maturity , he is a set of 12 wooden expressions called Shahrukh.
Disclaimer: I am THEIST, myself. I believe in God. Unfortunately I have my own theory about god. Uh, well, even god doesn’t really approve of it.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Epilogue (Marimallapa Files)
that and all
The spectacular ethics transfected into our vegetable brains during our fun filled and stress free days of high school has passed the test of time, or so it seems. During one of my recent cribbing sessions with Bharath, I found that the Marimallapa story is really up there in popularity with Ramayana and that Pandava thing. Among the 50,347.59 students in my class quite a few apparently identified their part of (lost) childhood. Some promptly scraped off their monitor screens and pasted onto mails as “forward”. Some even claimed it their own.
But no one could be coaxed to post in the blog (a reply atleast). Some shied away(good lord), some thought it was morally incorrect and some simply couldn’t be bothered.
We weasels sure can’t be arsed about acknowledging the source of the story. I wouldn’t take the trouble of doing it myself (All this from a guy who shamelessly downloads pirated music).
You see, the blog was magically created with our combined IQs, which is about zero (Bharath has about 225 and I have -225 exactly). No, in reality, our slaves worked night and day to come up with retarded tales like these. It would certainly improve the layout of the blog if you could visit AND post. And you would certainly be helping our superiority complex by acknowledging the source (that’s me and Bharath, by the way) if you ever forward it someone.
As weasels we have efficiently infiltrated the system. I’ll accept some of your points that in spite of our school we have transmogrified into world class weasels. We are now in the forefront of laziness (of course it could be worse, some write code for a living).Most of us have attained our fantasies of evolving into successful bottom feeding sedentary life forms. The aura of our redundant lives is so great that we are using that against each other.
The spectacular ethics transfected into our vegetable brains during our fun filled and stress free days of high school has passed the test of time, or so it seems. During one of my recent cribbing sessions with Bharath, I found that the Marimallapa story is really up there in popularity with Ramayana and that Pandava thing. Among the 50,347.59 students in my class quite a few apparently identified their part of (lost) childhood. Some promptly scraped off their monitor screens and pasted onto mails as “forward”. Some even claimed it their own.
But no one could be coaxed to post in the blog (a reply atleast). Some shied away(good lord), some thought it was morally incorrect and some simply couldn’t be bothered.
We weasels sure can’t be arsed about acknowledging the source of the story. I wouldn’t take the trouble of doing it myself (All this from a guy who shamelessly downloads pirated music).
You see, the blog was magically created with our combined IQs, which is about zero (Bharath has about 225 and I have -225 exactly). No, in reality, our slaves worked night and day to come up with retarded tales like these. It would certainly improve the layout of the blog if you could visit AND post. And you would certainly be helping our superiority complex by acknowledging the source (that’s me and Bharath, by the way) if you ever forward it someone.
As weasels we have efficiently infiltrated the system. I’ll accept some of your points that in spite of our school we have transmogrified into world class weasels. We are now in the forefront of laziness (of course it could be worse, some write code for a living).Most of us have attained our fantasies of evolving into successful bottom feeding sedentary life forms. The aura of our redundant lives is so great that we are using that against each other.
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